The end of the affair

It's a rare relationship indeed that lasts a lifetime, but this one was over almost before it began. But don't feel sorry for Piggy; I managed to escape almost entirely unscathed, and vindicated.

Yes, it's true: my romance with Noro is over, less than two weeks after it first bloomed.

As you know, love at first sight this was not. Piggy played hard-to-get. I'd managed to resist Noro's siren call (and those of the Noro Whoros) for years. Eventually I gave in, it's true; but just for a single, less-than-thrilling encounter.

That initial parting was amicable, however, so I didn't feel bad enlisting Noro's help for the very specific project mentioned in my last post, and also for this month's Potions assignment in the House Cup (the assignment: the Hate Potion).

But this time, something went amiss. I started on a wee scarf, using a single skein of Silk Garden provided by none other than the Queen of the Noro Whoros herself) and within just a few inches -- barely enough to be considered a swatch, really -- Piggy's tummy started to feel a little queasy. In a good way. I was smitten.

The colours...they were purdy. Seductive, in fact. And somehow, it felt softer tan I'd any other Silk Garden I'd felt up on the sly in various yarn shops. So I knit a few more inches.


And the hate turned to love.

People do crazy things when they fall in love, and Piggy is no exception. Fortunately I fell only to the tune of two skeins.

So, what happened to this budding love story? Well, like that of many couples, the relationship of Piggy and Noro was challenged by distance. In this case, the distance imposed by my Ravelympics competition (more on that tomorrow...or, you know, sometime soonish).

I was forced to put the scarf aside for several days while I was elbow-deep in dye pots and sock-frogging (and no, not for the official frogging event). And when I returned to it...well, I saw Noro's the passion was gone.

Oh, I finished the scarf. And it's pretty. Lovely, even.


But it's itchy. Even after a good soak. Far too itchy to wear against my neck. So it's off to another Noro Whoro.

And those two skeins I bought? Oh, I'll use them. For a hat, and maybe some mitts. Something platonic. No more Noro necking for Piggy!

Project Details:

Pattern: Just a Jamie Thing, by Jamie Roe
Yarn: Noro Silk Garden, colourway 74, one skein
Needles: 5.5 mm/US 9 straights
Started: February 11, 2010
Finished: February 21, 2010
Modifications/Notes: The pattern calls for one skein of Silk Garden. I blocked the scarf severely (hence the flat cast-on and cast-off edges, rather than the attractive scalloped ones featured on the Rav page) to get every last millimetre I could. I ended up with just under 102 cm/40 in. I prefer a longer scarf; if I were to knit this again, I'd use two skeins. The pattern itself is simple and attractive.

The beginning of the fall

My descent into Noro Whoro-dom began last month, while working on my Potions homework in the Harry Cup Knitting/Crochet House Cup.

The assignment: to knit something dangerous. Well, I humbly submit that if knitting with yarn that draws blood isn't dangerous, nothing is. And to bring it up to life-threatening status (well, sanity-threatening, anyway), why not use it for something to be worn against the neck?

So I give you One DANGEROUS Cowl:


Project Details:

Pattern: Social Climber Cowl, by Liza Gustin (non-Ravelry link)
Yarn: Noro Kureyon, colourway 180, one skein
Needles: 6.5 mm/US 10 1/2 Crystal Palace Daisy circular, 40 cm/16"
Started: January 20, 2010
Finished: January 22, 2010
Modifications: none

The pattern is great; simple yet lovely, and it really shows off the long repeats.

And the colours. Even the orange, which Piggy simply will not wear anywhere near her face unless the Netherlands is playing in the World Cup final.

The colours were almost enough to win me over.

However. The Kureyon.

I was lucky with this skein: no knots, and not too much veggie matter. Certainly none that required a Band-Aid.

But it's itchy as all get-out, even after a good soak in wool wash plus 45 minutes in a whack of hair conditioner. The latter, I'll admit, softened it up quite a bit. But not. nearly. enough.

So it's gone to a loving home with the Queen of the Noro Whoros.

So what was the tipping point, then? What prompted poor Piggy to shell out her own money for Noro?

You'll just have to wait and see.

MISSING: Piggy's sanity

And not just because I'm hoping anybody is still out there after all this time. More problematic: the rather spectacular nose-dive I took from the yarn diet wagon on Saturday afternoon.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Well, Piggy, this is hardly earth-shattering news; you should have seen it coming. It's not like you've ever managed to stick to a yarn diet for more than a week or two."

No argument here.

You're thinking, "Wait a sec. Piggy knows herself pretty well. It's not just any stash-enhancement that would make her doubt her sanity. This must be serious."

And there's the rub, piglets. This was not a standard-issue Piggy binge. In fact, my purchase consisted of just two skeins. The problem this time isn't the amount of yarn, but the yarn itself.







What has happened to me, piglets? I think I need a hug. Or maybe some electro-shock therapy.

Is Noro Whoro-dom my fate? Say it isn't so!

5th annual Cyberspace Poetry Slam for St. Brigid

MATILDA
Who Told Lies, and Was Burned to Death

Matilda told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one's Eyes;
Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth,
Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth,
Attempted to Believe Matilda:
The effort very nearly killed her,
And would have done so, had not She
Discovered this Infirmity.

For once, towards the Close of Day,
Matilda, growing tired of play,
And finding she was left alone,
Went tiptoe to the Telephone
And summoned the Immediate Aid
Of London's Noble Fire-Brigade.

Within an hour the Gallant Band
Were pouring in on every hand,
From Putney, Hackney Downs, and Bow.

With Courage high and Hearts a-glow,
They galloped, roaring through the Town,
'Matilda's House is Burning Down!'

Inspired by British Cheers and Loud
Proceeding from the Frenzied Crowd,
They ran their ladders through a score
Of windows on the Ball Room Floor;
And took Peculiar Pains to Souse
The Pictures up and down the House,
Until Matilda's Aunt succeeded
In showing them they were not needed;
And even then she had to pay
To get the Men to go away!

It happened that a few Weeks later
Her Aunt was off to the Theatre
To see that Interesting Play
The Second Mrs. Tanqueray.

She had refused to take her Niece
To hear this Entertaining Piece:
A Deprivation Just and Wise
To Punish her for Telling Lies.

That Night a Fire did break out--
You should have heard Matilda Shout!
You should have heard her Scream and Bawl,
And throw the window up and call
To People passing in the Street--
(The rapidly increasing Heat
Encouraging her to obtain
Their confidence) -- but all in vain!
For every time she shouted 'Fire!'
They only answered 'Little Liar!'

And therefore when her Aunt returned,
Matilda, and the House, were Burned.

~ Hilaire Belloc