Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Handy hints for happy hat knitting

Alternatively titled, Do as I say, not as I do.

Don't panic; the situation isn't as bad as that might suggest. But there is a faint, yet lingering, sense of disappointment chez Piggy, and benevolent soul that I am (not modest, perhaps, but benevolent), I feel I must do my bit to protect you from a similar fate.

Behold, dear piglets, my latest finished object.

Bubblegum Wrap Cap

It is, as careful readers will have gleaned from this post's title, if not the altogether uninspiring photo, a hat. It is indeed a finished hat, and is eminently suitable for wear by any number of people. Unfortunately, Piggy is not among that number.

So without further ado (I've never been one for keeping a story short; I do apologize), I give you...


Piggy's Handy Hints for Happy Hat Knitting
  1. Use yummy yarn. One that makes you squee with delight when you fondle it (or roll about naked in it, if that's your thing -- there are no judgments here) and in a shade that makes your heart sing.
  2. Select an attractive, easy pattern. Remember, I said happy knitting, not edifying knitting. If you want a 16-colour, heavily patterned, steeked-then-buttoned laceweight cap, knock yourself out. Just keep the gin nearby (seriously, knock yourself out), and be sure to use alpaca, because you'll need that extra warmth after ripping all your hair out.
  3. Pick the appropriate needles for your yarn and pattern. I'm not going to tell you to knit a gauge swatch, because who am I kidding? I never swatch. But try to keep it in the ball park, eh? (And before you make any assumptions, the hat fits around Piggy's fat head just fine, thank you very much.)
  4.  Follow the pattern...
  5. ...the whole pattern, while using your brain. So, for example, when instructed to knit in pattern for "five-and-a-half inches or desired depth", you might want to try the bloody thing on, to see if it will be long enough.
Any guesses which hint Piggy elected to ignore?

Project Details

Pattern: Bubble Wrap Cap by Lark. (Non-Ravelers, go here.)
Yarn: Malabrigo Worsted Merino, Barbie colourway, about half a skein
Needles: 5mm/US 8

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